The Nature of Zooey Deschanel - Transcripts


Veronica's Closet: "Veronica's Fun and Pirates are Crazy" - 1.15.98
I only included the parts of the episode about Zooey's character Elena

[Elena and Olive step off of the elevator]

Olive: Okay, this is where it all happens. Alright? You're going to be able to see first hand what an important role women play in the business world.

Elena: [Timidly] Neat.

Olive: Yeah. Alright, now, I am the number two person in the company, and a woman. Okay? And the number one person in the company is also... a woman. And [looks at Josh] This is Josh.

Josh: I'm number one hundred and sixty-four, but I'm only a woman on the weekends.

Olive: Elena is my little sister in the Big Sister program.

Josh: Hi Elena. [Holds out his hand to shake hers]

Elena: [Shaking his hand] [Timidly] Hi.

Olive: Hehe. She's a little shy. So, is Ronnie in?

Josh: Oh, sorry. She's on a phone call.

Olive: Okay. See, making big, executive, important phone calls. After all, she is the President.

Josh: Actually, the President's trying to win Bon Jovi tickets from KROCK.

Olive: Okay. Tell you what. I'll show you my office first, okay?

[Elena and Olive walk off]

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Olive: [Leading Elena into the room] Okay, this is where we shoot the photos to the catalog, okay? Ellen's the photographer. Sarah, Sherry - stylists. Bonnie - hair and makeup. See? [Pointing] Woman, woman, woman, and woman.

[Door opens and Veronica enters]

Olive: Oh, and here's...

[Veronica slams the door]

Olive: the President of the company.

Veronica: [Raspy] I'm gonna kill my ex-husband!

Olive: As you can see, she's very strong. Alright. Um, Ellen can she look through the lens with you there for a second? Okay. [Elena walks over to Ellen] [To Veronica] Whoa, what is up with your voice?

Veronica: I've been up on the roof screaming.

Olive: Oh really? Did it help?

Veronica: No, but you know what? You can see the massage parlor across the street.

Olive: So I heard about the party in the break room.

Veronica: Yeah, well isn't it enough that he got most of our friends in the divorce? Did he have to come here and start taking people, too?

Olive: Oh, honey. He's not taking anyone.

Veronica: They were all there. Leo, Perry, Josh. Don't they see how evil he is?

Olive: Yes, of course they do. They're not there for him; they're there for the toys. I mean, he has like, a basketball machine, a foosball table. Some lady making Belgian waffles.

Veronica: I love Belgian waffles! She must have left before I got there.

Olive: Okay, see? My point exactly. That's why those guys were there - not for Bryce.

Veronica: Really?

Olive: Yeah, look. I promise.

[Veronica leaves]

Olive: Alright, Elena, honey, okay, you've seen almost everything there is to do in the company, yeah? Anything you think you might like to be?

Elena: [Pointing towards the shoot] I wanna do that.

Olive: A photographer. Excellent, very creative. Good.

Elena: No, that. [Points to the shoot again, more towards the model this time]

Olive: Oh god, okay. Oh, no, no, honey. No, no. Really, you don't want to be a model.

Elena: Why not?

Olive: Well, because. You - you want something more challenging for yourself. You want something were you can use your mind, and where nicotine isn't considered a food group.

[Perry enters]

Olive: Oh, Perry

Perry: Yeah?

Olive: Perry. This is Elena. Perry used to be a model, right? Wasn't it horrible? Didn't you hate it?

Perry: Actually, modeling was very good to me: great pay, free clothes.

Olive: Okay, but it didn't last long, did it?

Perry: True, true, but it did open up some doors for me. Actually, that's why Olive hired me.

Olive: Yeah, you should probably sit down now.

Perry: Okay, okay. Hey, see how straight my back is? Modeling taught me that.

Olive: Ronnie! Ronnie, please. Can I just borrow you for a second here? Now my little sister Elena wants to be a model.

Veronica: Oh. Well, I can see that - big eyes, nice skin. You're gonna have to do something about your hair.

[Olive leans over and whispers to Veronica]

Veronica: You would make a great doctor! You know, you have doctor's hair.

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Olive: Leo, honey, have you seen Elena?

Leo: Last I saw, she was with Perry. I think he was trying to talk her out of becoming a model.

Olive: Really? Oh, god, I hope he does. I mean, I finally get a chance to shape a young person's life, and now she...

Leo: [Interrupting] Come on, come on, Olive, Olive, Olive. Don't start freaking out. When you're a kid you want to be a lot of different things. Doesn't mean it's gonna happen.

Olive: You know what? You're right. You know, when I was twelve, I really wanted to be a pony.

Leo: Yeah, exactly.

[Elena enters in full model mode]

Leo: Oh my god! Elena!

Olive: Oh no!

Elena: Hi.

Olive: Perry!

[Perry comes out from hiding behind the door]

Perry: Olive, Olive, I can explain. I thought she'd hate sitting in a makeup chair as much as I did. Who knew she'd love it?

[Veronica enters]

Veronica: Oh my....Elena?

Olive: I know, I know.

Veronica: We've got to put you in the catalog!

Perry: It was very nice working for you. I'll go clear out my stuff.

Olive: Okay, listen up people. She is not going to go in the catalog!

Veronica: Why not?

Olive: Because. I am responsible for this girl, okay? I want her to be valued for more than just how she looks. She could be anything she wants. She could be like a stockbroker, or an architect, or an astro....

Elena: [Interrupting] Excuse me. Can I say something? I wanna be a model because I'm really good at standing and sitting really still. Oh, and I'm also good at not blinking, too, watch. [Opens her eyes really wide and stares] And I also think that it would be really fun to wear cool clothes, especially blue, cuz that's my favorite color. Although, I do like green, too. And red. And yellow. And that brown color. And I also think that it would be really, really fun to visit exciting cities, like Paris and...Europe.

[There is a pause as everyone looks at each other]

Veronica and Leo: Model. [Olive nods in agreement]

Leo: Yep.

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